I work on a bunch of different things and this is my logic of working on ford projects just a rant #10. If it can go wrong, it will in fact go wrong. You can bet on it. #9. See #10, learn it well. This will happen many MANY times throughout your ownership. #8. There really wasnt any thought put into bolt sizes used. They just put some numbers in a hat, everyone pissed in said hat, lit said hat on fire with ass gass, and came to the conclusion this really had nothing to do with anything and came up with random numbers. Some are actual sizes, some are metric/SAE bastard children formed on a cold winters night in front of a roaring fire. Lots of WD-40 was involved. Yes it was hot, no, nobody remembers. #7. Due to #8, profuse swearing and repeated blows with a hard blunt object can be subsituted for the correct size socket. I know the dog didnt do anything, but dammit I cant find a 9/27 socket. Dont worry he can still get by with one of them. #6. Oil burning is a factory option. Had to fuck something up, why not make it count. #5. The starter used on 87-91 mustangs in fact were prototype anchors for the damn titanic. They are operated by grinding the skull of a small animal against the flywheel. Take one apart, youll see. #4. The best never rest, only because it takes so long to get it running again after something breaks. This usually doesnt take very long to happen. #3. Are those fuel line clips supposed to be a fucking joke? Or am I missing something here.... #2. Where is that damn dog anyways.... And the number one thing to remember when working on a mustang is... Under all that power and beauty, lies SOMETHING that is going to piss you off. You were warned.
Re: just a little agravation Excellent post, this is the perfect area for my tidbits. So today, I go to get the 1968 C-10 that the girlfriend bought me(us) as a project truck, she likes to get her hands dirty (that is when I'm not throwing thing in anger) With that said, I headed down to the local county clerks office with title and proof of insurance. It would seem even though the truck was previously registered in this state (Kentucky) but is now registered in another that it has to pass an inspection of lights and mirrors and vin number check. 1) is there some state that doesn't require lights and mirrors and glass? of course didn't drive the truck there cause it doesn't have a plate or current registration. But I was told that I have to bring it in there so the Sherrif can look at it. Oh yeah and bring 5 bucks cause it costs 5 to have the sheriff verify that it is ok to drive. Oh he is only here for 2 hours. It's 830 now and he doesn't get here till 1030. I have a tire off the truck to have it repaired. I dropped it off before I went to the clerks office and the guy said get right on it. I show up to get my tire and of course it was ready actually they hadn't even moved it from where I left it... Get the tire are air at .75 cents at the gas station, put it on and I'm back on my way to the office to get there in time, with no registration and no plate. I get there and I'm told that I have to wait in my car for the sheriff to come out of the building. we get his 3 minutes don't and I want for another 15 while he does some paperwork. I get it and I get right in front of the line. Excellent, Not quite the lady was going through the paper work and ask me if I have a notarized copy of some form that says what was paid for the truck. I said the title is signed and it has the price, she said well without that piece of notarized paper that I would be charged tax on what the book value of the truck is worth. So she looks it up and said that the tax is 2687 Oh 26.87 that isn't bad... I'll pay that to be done with this whole thing.. It seems that 2687 was 2687.00 based on the NADA book value of an EXCELLENT truck. I told the lady look out the window. She said that because I didn't have the paperwork that it was estimated to be worth boook value. that is 38600 that is right 38600 and I was paying tax on that. I mean what the F***. Is this for real where are the cameras? It's for real. The craziest thing I have ever heard of.... I'm ready for beer, several... There is no common sence, I can't believe it... and I'm so freaking pissed off that I could just scream... I mean I did very well to not completely loose my mind in the office... but that would have with out a doubt cost me more with the trip to the jail included... Ok so I will just put historic plates on it that is 100.00 I'm good with that I can't drive it every day but I can drive it... lets do that I said... So she commences to crunch keys and says do you still have the 2001 s-10 I said no I traded it in in 2004, she said you were the owner of it as of Jan 2004 so you have to pay tax on it... to make a long story short... $364.00 for a truck that I can't drive every day that the state thinnks is worth $38600.00 I mean am I crazy? does the physical truck sitting outside the window rust and primer and all... and it doesn't matter... state of Kentucky says that it's woth 38600.00. There need to be some laws or something this is insane... Sorry for getting so long winded but I'm so freaking hot you could fry and egg on me..... Regards, Soba
You guys, I have tears in my eyes---these two posts are sooo funny!!!! I'm so glad to find someone else that wondered what the F is up with the bolt logic on every Ford I've ever owned. And I'll now know to never register anything in Kentucky too. I though things were supposed to be more easy down south...? Sounds like some shit that they would pull up here in NY, for sure. #2 where is that damn dog anyways................still laughing----you made my day. Another happy GM truck owner
Keep The Fun Stories Coming Boys ! Well ; I dunno about Kentucky but here in Kahlifornia , Land Of Fruits & Nuts , the Dept. of Motor Vehicles has lots and lots of welfare to work women (they're NOT ladies !) who don't get the simple concept that you're trying to do the right thing and give them some money to boot so it's like a game to them , see how much trouble they can give you and don't issue plates & title ~ they're P.O.'d because they're not home watching Judge Judy or other tripe so they spread the misery around.... I belong to The Auto Club so I don't have to go to the DMV . I also dunno what the deal is with those stupid Ford fuel line clips ~ *IF* you have the $2.00 <magic> tool (that co$t$ well over $20.00 BTW) they pop right off but if not , then all mannaer of bad things can happen As far as metrics and using mixed fasteners , GM is just as bad , it's because they source parts from around the world so what the actual manufacturer of each part uses , it what you get stuck struggling with , in the rain , on a dark night , on The Grapevine , with overloaded trucks whizzing by 6' from your head as you lie in the puddle of greasy water... Glad I'm not a mechanic ~ oh wait , DAMMIT ! Just wait untill your pretty little SWMBO decides she has to have a cute little British car , many of them have Witworth(less) , fractional and just to be fun , METRIC threads in the S.U. carbies... Some of the stuff on Chrysler Products has had me pulling my hair out in bunches over the years too.... My doggies like to crawl up in my lap when I'm beat & laying in my recliner...
THIS forum should be our daily fix. Maybe Classic should start a funny personal story line for us, to see how many of us 'mechanics' could do standup. Keep em coming. As Fords go, I'd like to meet the idiot that put the crank pulley so close to the frame that you can't even get a serpentine belt off sideways without prying the whole driveline over with a bar....... hey, I've seen a TWO legged dog!
Whilst I am not a registered mechanic, I am an autobodyman. I would like to meet the " JERK " engineer who designed the upper hinge attachment for the 1983 Tempo. The book says; .3 to change upper hinge on drivers door. In order to do this procedure, first you have to pay a mechanic 8 hours to remove dash assembly, then you have to cut out on board computer mount bracket from inside of " A " pillar to gain access to the one bolt bolt that is bolted from inside of the pillar. The other two bolts unbolt from outside of the car, making a simple 3 tenths of an hour job turn into a 10 hour job, and still only get paid about .75 cents for it.
Oh my............this is funny. The driveline that you have to pry over for the belt was .........you guessed it.........A FORD TEMPO!!!!!!!Must be the whole car was designed by one idiot...... What happened back then was..........the American manufacturers were losing sales to Jap cars so they employed a policy called....'engineered obsolescence'........whereby they would make crap to wear out at a predetermined time to make money on service work. If anyone owned a K car or Escort, you will remember you steering rack being junk at 60,000 miles or your transaxle needing changed at about 75,000. The US cars from the early to mid 80's were absolute cheap junk.........and if you owned one, you know. I was a mechanic that whole time and they started getting better in the late 80's. Sad that our manufacturers had to learn the hard way as this caused more foreign car sales than ever. My parents started buying Mazda and Subaru and I kid you not.........did nothing to ANY of them except change the oil. Not even spark plugs. Dad finally went back to GM a few years ago............
Oh yea, forgot to mention all the blown head gaskets on the Escorts...........happened to almost ALL of them!
Lol ! You guys are so right ! I guess better Peedoff than Peedon Am I the only one here who likes K Cars ? at least the convertibles were O.K. IMO .
Well...............one thing about the Chrysler stuff from the K car era...........they were very easy to work on, lots of room under the hood. GM's and Fords were the worst. Used to call them 'hose monsters'. Millions of hoses and wires is all you saw............suprised GM did not think of a sensor to measure 'fart gas' pressure in the passenger compartment and then have an idiot light warning of 'explosion risks' !!! Like to take some of those sensors and push them up some engineers butt and plug it into a wall socket...LOL....oh yea, that would be fun
Ahh the good old days. Every once in a while an 80's era s.o.b. rolls into the shop and get to play with brittle old vacuum lines from hell. Them rotten ass brittle plastic bastards on the fords. Just did a supertune on ,of all things, a 75 AMC Pacer for the local auto museum. (What the hell are they thinkin) Stale gas, stretched timing chain, some dips***s feeble attempt to repair carb, vac lines, and whatever else they could get there hands on. Sorry, new here and looked like a good rant going on. Loved that first post Later all
How could I have missed this thread? This was a fun thread! But you guys are missing the whole point! As my grandfather told me back in the '60's when I was a wee sprout helping him in his garage "Boy, don't ever bad mouth a Ford! It's kept food on my table for years. If everything was built like a Chevy, I'd be out of business!" Damn, he was a smart man!
As tuneup instructor said at a class I was attending not long ago, "They're all junk or we'd all be writing computer programs"....Sad but true. If a man builds it, it'll F**K up. Ain't it great! And yes, that Pacer is one UGLY BASTARD
True, if they were built the way they SHOULD be..................they would all be stainless steel. Delorean had part of it right............
